--If one buys into the Theory of Supply and Demand, then one can only assume that the only people demanding to buy shoes at WalMart are hookers and elderly women. Why am I shoe shopping at WalMart? Cause I had nothing better to do, and that is a serious declaration, right there. Anyway...my choices are six-inch high heels or six-inch wide heels. Oh, and if I look long enough, I might happen across a clear pair with clear six-inch heels that flash when I walk. That's really gonna come in handy, you know? Nothing worse than being plowed by a moving vehicle while trying to make a little money working the corner of 5th and Grand. If my shoes light up as I sashay about, I can probably write those off on my taxes as safety gear required by my profession. Cha-ching!
--Have you been watching the news? I am so excited about the election next year that I could just pee myself. Who's vying for the Democratic nomination? A Latino, an African-American, and a WOMAN(among others who really don't count, as I'm sure will be proven in time)! To avoid the risk of having myself run out of my conservative state on a flaming pole, I'm not telling who I'm rooting for. In fact, as a woman in the state of Alabama, I'm not sure it's acceptable for me to have political opinions. I just do what Jon Stewart tells me to. In fact, I think I'm voting for Jon Stewart. Will he make a better president than Dubya? Doubtful. But it'd sure be a helluva lot more entertaining.
--I bought a copy of In Touch Weekly. Apparently, I had extra neurons firing with all the political news, so I felt the need to bed some of them back down. OK, so, like JT and Cam are totally over, and now In Touch wants to know who we (their loyal readers) think is best for Justin.
Option A) Scarlett Johansson
Option B) Cameron Diaz
Option C) Kate Hudson
OK, folks...giving this matter all the serious thought it deserves...let's break it down:
Scarlett is obviously the right choice. She's young, she's hot, she's not a bed-hopping starlet. She's so gorgeous, even Isaac Mizrahi couldn't keep his hands off her, and I would wager he's not into the female anatomy so much. Justin has already co-habitated with Cameron Diaz, and that didn't work out, so I'm not sure why she's even an option. Ever the romantics, In Touch Weekly. And, concerning Kate Hudson, that's gonna be an emphatic NO. I think Kate needs some anti-depressants, maybe and a little soul-searching, but I don't think a 20-something boyfriend is the answer. Muddies the thinking.
I can't believe I just spent more time debating who would best hump Justin Timberlake than I did discussing who might make a better president in 2008.
Also, of great import: Should Britney or K-Fed get custody of the kids? Now, THERE'S a coupla lousy candidates...
OK, I'm bored with myself now. Love you guys.
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