Tuesday, November 29, 2011

My Road Rage is like Wo

This one goes out to all the morons who pissed me off during my trip to Ider and back home today...
1. To the little old lady in the green Old-Lady-Mobile:
    YOU CAN NOT CHANGE LANES IN AN INTERSECTION!  And
    certainly NOT when the lane you are attempting to merge into is filled
    with bumper-to-bumper traffic.  Why should I have to honk my horn
    at you to get you to stop trying to come into my lane when I am RIGHT
    alongside you???  Next time, I'll be sure to set off my Go-Go Gadget
    car stilts, so I can just squeeze you in underneath me.  STOP DRIVING
    IF YOU CAN'T SEE A VEHICLE IN THE LANE BESIDE
    YOU!!!
2. To the idiot female coming down the big hill in Hammondville:
    No, in fact, I wasn't waiting at that stop sign for my meth dealer.  I was
    actually waiting for you to get by so that I could pull out behind you.  It
    would have been lovely to know that you were going to turn right 50 feet
    before you even got to where I was stopped.  I wouldn't have
    interrupted your driving route at all had I turned left in front of you.
    Check it out: there's this little stick on the left side of your steering wheel.
    When you use it, it alerts your fellow drivers of your impending intention
    to turn.  Down for Left, Up for Right.  Maybe master that before trying
    to drive while having a phone conversation.
3. To everyone behind me on AL Hwy 75:
    What the HELL is on my bumper that is so fascinating?  Why must you
     rush up at 70 mph and then hang there on my arse?  I don't have any
     witty bumper stickers.  I'm not going faster than 60 no matter how
     much you hover.  Take advantage of the broken yellow line in the
     middle of the road and pass me.  I won't be offended.  Jeez!
4. To the people in the red Sentra on airport road:
    If your car can't top 30 mph, the only time you should have it out on the
    road is if you are going directly to the hospital.  K-Mart is not an
    acceptable destination at that ridiculous speed. 
5. To all of the above:
    Don't look at me like I'm in the wrong when you are running all
    up in my day with your crappy driving.  Don't be surprised
    when people get angry with you for being Motor-Vehicle-Operationally
    Challenged.  Gah!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment